Partner under arrest. What to do?

Keep calm

Take your time, to get an overview of your situation. Try to accept it for now. Think well, whom you want to tell about the imprisonment. Not everybody must know all details. Make a list of everything that needs to be taken care of.

Do we need a lawyer?

You yourself don’t have to get a lawyer. Discuss this topic during your first visit in prison. Your partner has the possibility to contact a lawyer himself. There are two options: a public defender or a chosen defender. A self-chosen lawyer will cost you more money.

If you are short on money and you want to get legal advice for yourself, please contact the local district court and ask for financial support on legal advice.

Make sure to secure your family living

Your partner is being taken care of while under arrest. Now you must take care of your family’s everyday living. Ask your partner to send you an official document that confirms his imprisonment.

Inform your employment agency promptly of the imprisonment, if you draw benefits from the agency.

There could be more institutions, that need to be informed.

Health insurance

If the health insurance for you and your children is covered by your partner, please contact the insurance company immediately, so that insurance is provided.They will necessarily need the official document of imprisonment.

Financial support

Please inform yourself as soon as possible about social security benefits.

Take advantage of professional counseling. File applications promptly. The date of your application is the official beginning of social benefits.

Unemployment benefit/citizen’s benefit (Arbeitslosengeld oder Bürgergeld)
Housing benefit (Wohngeld)
Support payment in advance (Unterhaltsvorschuss)
Children’s allowance (Unterhaltsvorschuss)
Benefit for education and social involvement (Bildungs- und Teilhabe-Paket)

What about my partner?

Don’t be concerned, if you don’t hear from your partner in the first instance. Due to protection of data privacy, the police as well as the prison cannot give you information where your partner is located. Be confident, that your partner will contact you as soon as it is possible for him/her.

Telephone calls

You cannot call your partner in prison, especially when he/she is in detention while awaiting trial. After the verdict your partner is able to call you.

Detention before and after trial

Detention while awaiting trial:

Investigations on the case of your partner are still ongoing
For a personal visit or a telephone call you normally need an approval from the department of public prosecution or the court

Imprisonment after conviction:

Final sentence or financial penalty
To arrange a personal visit, you have to contact the prison

Your visit in prison

Call the prison and have yourself explained how the procedure of visiting is. In the internet you will find the particular telephone number of the particular prison.

What do you need to organize for a visit in prison:

An appointment
A valid ID document or a valid passport
If needed, an allowance from the department of public prosecution or the court (see detention before trial)

Letters

You may write letters to your partner at any time. Your letters will be controlled/checked in prison. Your mail will take a little longer than usual. You are allowed to add stamps in a small amount to your letters, as well as pictures.

Letters must fulfill following criterias:

German language only
No use of glue
No use of stickers
No use of adhesive tape

What about the children?

Give feeling of safety

Try to give your children the feeling of safety and stay with your everyday routines, if possible.

Be honest

Try to stay calm and find an age-appropriate explanation of the situation for your children. Think for yourself: How is the children’s understanding? What information is too hard to deal with?

You can get yourself help. There is the possibility of professional counseling for you and your children nearby. We help you find adequate counseling.

Trust someone from school or Kindergarten and tell what happened. Only then others can consider certain needs of your children.

Visit in prison with your children

Try to make the first visit without your children. Then you yourself can get an impression of the procedures and are able to talk over important issues in private. This experience gives you safety and this you can transfer to your children.

For the visit of the children, they will need a valid ID or a copy of the birth certificate.